As i said in previous post, i am bursting with thoughts and words..
thr goes.. my bro just came bck from a motivation camp.. they have a book, which is written by max lucado.. its a story about a village live by small wood made people crafted by a carpenter who live on a hill top so that he can watch the wood people. the wood people go by living with sticking either a star or grey circle to each other. star means either you are a beautiful people or you are talented. grey circle means you are ugly or not talented. there is this guy, Lo, people called him fat guy and he is clumsy and not talented beside ugly. he often will be stick with grey circle, sometimes for no reason. This result in his low self esteem and isolated behaviour.
one day, he met a girl who doesn't have any sticker on her body, people who try to stick sticker just fail to let it stay on her. so he ask her about it and she brought him to the carpenter. there, the carpenter said he have been awaiting his arrival and answer Lo why the girl didn't have sticker. it is because, she value the carpenter view than the others.. she know the carpenter created her uniqely and accept her for who she is, not her appearance nor hw talented she is. and the carpenter gently tell LO, because he created them, thefore he cared for them.. and bcoz they care about the sticker, then only it will stick, if Lo, place his believe in carpener, Lo will not care bout the sticker, and it wont stick anymore.. bfore Lo leave, he finally realize dat he is special, and he can't wait to meet the carpenter again.. with this thought, one grey circle fell off.. till den..
it just reminded me to bck to basic.. its a children or teenager book i noe..bt hw much we need to grasp tis.. n we need more of tis kind of book.. most of the time, a relationship with God, u just need to be back to basic, to realize your worth in HIM and let the river of HIS love flow..
p.s tis afternoon.. while i was on the computer.. a tiny pinch come to me.. all the word dat i m fat and all, all the vainess which is alwiz thr come to me at once, not in a pain form but more of awakening form, i noe i have to do something.. i decided to not let it control me.. all the furstration and toil that it caused.. well, i will not go on to all the reason why the word fat form in my mind.. the important part is just at dat awakening time, a liberating thought come to me, a thought that everyone should be confident of who they are, beauty in diff form, shape (size) and packages.. its the confident that make you beautiful, the shine, the confident glow of loving urself for u.. i realized, i am healthy, nt fat.. well, i m not saying, stop all the gym and exercise.. bt don't believe in lie dat damage you, or control u as it linger ur mind.. i was a victim till nw.. n i may continue to battle it but i pray to be reminded of the above simple liberating truth.. nw, i can see my pics and smile, really.. those pics that i hated it bfore.. i believe i need not mention who bring the liberating truth rite? hehe.. still, fiy, its HIM..
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
backie me
i m bck from a spirit filled camp.. pics in facebook.. one word, tis camp leave me longing for more of God.. Praise HIM! the audio and power point is available.. i wanted to share more bout tis camp, bt frankly i dunno hw else to describe it, God just present HIMSELF beautifully thr, along with the theme of our camp, God love our passion.. HIS love just flow in worship and msg, devotion and altercall.. HIS glory stirred the passion in us.. dats it.. period..
finish my exam.. will be working soon hopefully.. waiting for confirmation from michelle and arrangement.. the next 2 months will b a diff journey.. let see whr God wan me to be la..
and i m loving the community of my church.. the fellowship just make u comfortable, like a truly loving family.. the prayer meet in my church is another spirit filled meeting (duh lol)
kdu CF is launching passion soon.. pray for it! a evangelism event.. fiy, can't wait to combine with KBU cf more.. its cool to noe them.. CF camp tis year will include them..wohoo..
ps. i can't describe exactly hw Gos is working in me nw, its overwhelming honestly.. anyhw, like uncle weng chiong put it, let Jesus shine in u, den it will overflow.. i m bursting inside with words, but circumstances and time will let me say it (of course i ask God to grant me wisdom to say it).. haha.. n i notice, nwadays, once u mention something i can share, i will have the impulse to keep sharing.. till the stirring to share in me is over, den i will stop or till circumstances make me stop.. lol.. its interesting la, so will c hw it goes..just a random thought bout myself..
finish my exam.. will be working soon hopefully.. waiting for confirmation from michelle and arrangement.. the next 2 months will b a diff journey.. let see whr God wan me to be la..
and i m loving the community of my church.. the fellowship just make u comfortable, like a truly loving family.. the prayer meet in my church is another spirit filled meeting (duh lol)
kdu CF is launching passion soon.. pray for it! a evangelism event.. fiy, can't wait to combine with KBU cf more.. its cool to noe them.. CF camp tis year will include them..wohoo..
ps. i can't describe exactly hw Gos is working in me nw, its overwhelming honestly.. anyhw, like uncle weng chiong put it, let Jesus shine in u, den it will overflow.. i m bursting inside with words, but circumstances and time will let me say it (of course i ask God to grant me wisdom to say it).. haha.. n i notice, nwadays, once u mention something i can share, i will have the impulse to keep sharing.. till the stirring to share in me is over, den i will stop or till circumstances make me stop.. lol.. its interesting la, so will c hw it goes..just a random thought bout myself..
Sunday, May 18, 2008
updates
global prayer day is over.. i dun noe hw to describe it except powerful... for those who go, praise God.. pray that the pledge that have been done that day, will be fullfilled with God grace.. and all the prayer on that day, will move the spiritual dimension on God timing..
continue to pray for global rice crisis.. for me, it seem like some place will soon meet famine just as written in bible.. just perhaps la..
of course pray for china and myanmar.. that ppl will be comforted even at tis time.. pray that more ppl will continue to help the victim.. even at this grieving time,gud thing dat come out is ppl show their heart to other human, which is not a often scenery at tis new era.. tis thought keep lingering in my head, ppl will ask y God allow tis to happen? y so many natural disaster strike now? whr is God at tis time? i dun have the answer, bt GOD have..n most of the time, we wont understand HIS plan, bt with HIS wisdom, we will..
continue to cover kdu cf leaders.. last fri, we have a time of surrendering to God lead by miss angeline.. a time to reconsider our priorities is to love God first, not to serve HIM without knowing HIM.. As we kneel and bow, may God awaken our heart again to HIM.. back to the basic...
my church camp is in 9 days!!!!! can't wait!!! our church t-shirt rocks .. and we can swim and go caving...
p.s happy wesak day... and i dun celebrate it ppl.
continue to pray for global rice crisis.. for me, it seem like some place will soon meet famine just as written in bible.. just perhaps la..
of course pray for china and myanmar.. that ppl will be comforted even at tis time.. pray that more ppl will continue to help the victim.. even at this grieving time,gud thing dat come out is ppl show their heart to other human, which is not a often scenery at tis new era.. tis thought keep lingering in my head, ppl will ask y God allow tis to happen? y so many natural disaster strike now? whr is God at tis time? i dun have the answer, bt GOD have..n most of the time, we wont understand HIS plan, bt with HIS wisdom, we will..
continue to cover kdu cf leaders.. last fri, we have a time of surrendering to God lead by miss angeline.. a time to reconsider our priorities is to love God first, not to serve HIM without knowing HIM.. As we kneel and bow, may God awaken our heart again to HIM.. back to the basic...
my church camp is in 9 days!!!!! can't wait!!! our church t-shirt rocks .. and we can swim and go caving...
p.s happy wesak day... and i dun celebrate it ppl.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
touching
just watch a series drama..
a daugther is worried about her dad as bfore her marriage, she found out his dad change to women at a night club every night.. so, she decided to follow her dad after she consulted a doc.. and she found out that it is the last day the dad will work as the singer thr, known as 'mum Gigi'.. and he gave a speech.. a story about how he met the wife Gigi at this very night club, and he felt in love with the song she sang, they courted and get married, have a daugther, but she pass away one day.. and after dat, he started to be like her every night at the night club, dressing like her and sing the same song she sang..and he is quiting this nightclub job bcoz the daugther getting married..
at last, the truth is clear and the daugther weep, realizing the dad dress as women bcoz he misses her mum so much..
such a depth of a man love towards the wife even after 20 years.. i havent mention how he try to provide what he could to the daugther..
a daugther is worried about her dad as bfore her marriage, she found out his dad change to women at a night club every night.. so, she decided to follow her dad after she consulted a doc.. and she found out that it is the last day the dad will work as the singer thr, known as 'mum Gigi'.. and he gave a speech.. a story about how he met the wife Gigi at this very night club, and he felt in love with the song she sang, they courted and get married, have a daugther, but she pass away one day.. and after dat, he started to be like her every night at the night club, dressing like her and sing the same song she sang..and he is quiting this nightclub job bcoz the daugther getting married..
at last, the truth is clear and the daugther weep, realizing the dad dress as women bcoz he misses her mum so much..
such a depth of a man love towards the wife even after 20 years.. i havent mention how he try to provide what he could to the daugther..
after ever..lol
yay yay!!!!! lol.. i m assured to be everlasting..hw cool is dat? its nt dat i nvr realized dat,bt just have a chat with my Father above.. sitting down on the bench in the park outside my hse.. HE answered me regarding wat i type the earlier post.. n i fill with Father love, knowing that no matter wat thr will b Someone to be with me no matter wat future may hold, bside the fact tat my future is in HIM.. n i somehw want to have to peek a view of my future, well, i do granted some access to it but of course it is better to be surprise..bt nw i just have a question, y do God still love me so much eventough i m doubtful of HIS unconditional love, especially when my heart is attacked by unsure (doubt)... but den, one thing, God love me so much till HE won't let me run from HIM too long.. n wen HE sense ur heart is troubled, HE alwiz come at the time wen u cannot stand it anymore.. HE wont let u roam free from the condition, n HE most wont let u off the hook.. dats wat a loving Father will do.. amen.. Praise HIM..
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
y post
cell group for cf starting tomolo.. oh boy, can't wait to know the members.. oh n guess wat, jason want to do alumni for cf.. he wan the history of cf.. history to b dig out should i say? lol.. like the artifact hidden bury down for thousands years waiting to be found.. interesting, all the ex commitees and all, u bet..
at tis moment, i am asking alot of why.. y God even bother to send Jesus for ppl like me (ppl like me, most of the time who doesnt noe hw to handle HIS love, who is stirred by small little matter), y i am xiying (i noe its lame), y can't i be more loving towards my studies n classses, y can't i love God more, y can't i hunger more, y i am asking so many y .. i guess all this y is dat nw my heart is just needing HIS guidance, teaching, n God wan us to be teachable, i hope my questions enable God to lead me a step deeper about HIM, even with the simple questions.. another thing is i m human who is given emotion bt seem to have too much of it..lol..literally.. bt emotion is given by God (its part of HIM) n its beautiful non the less, just sadly the fall of mankind unfortunately have corrupted it.. hmm, y do we feel? y do our heart feel the desire, needs, joy, love, pain, anger, lost and etc? guess HE do too... bt in a more 'matured,higher and sacred' version den us, n bcoz we r in HIS image, we can only pray dat like Father like children..for nw as my Father daugther, i m asking HIM to take care of my desire, and needs that have being stirred up for nw.. i see a road in front of me, long and endless.. n i say great, now i will walk on till dunno wen n with no direction.. i try to walk n i tripped, duh, with the intense darkness..n tears drop roll down on my cheek..bt God say, wait a minute, tis isnt life mend to be, with a snap of finger (imagine the sound in ur brain lol), the road is lighten, blinding me actually, n a big comfortable hand on me, n i see the signs post n all indicating whr i should go, then, God say, thr u go, tis is better.. its suppose to be dat way..i wipe my face, i rise n walk.. bracing forward.. well, i can guarantee i will tripped again, definately..i am professional in falling down on stairs n bus n etc..bt i believe in the big hand..
at tis moment, i am asking alot of why.. y God even bother to send Jesus for ppl like me (ppl like me, most of the time who doesnt noe hw to handle HIS love, who is stirred by small little matter), y i am xiying (i noe its lame), y can't i be more loving towards my studies n classses, y can't i love God more, y can't i hunger more, y i am asking so many y .. i guess all this y is dat nw my heart is just needing HIS guidance, teaching, n God wan us to be teachable, i hope my questions enable God to lead me a step deeper about HIM, even with the simple questions.. another thing is i m human who is given emotion bt seem to have too much of it..lol..literally.. bt emotion is given by God (its part of HIM) n its beautiful non the less, just sadly the fall of mankind unfortunately have corrupted it.. hmm, y do we feel? y do our heart feel the desire, needs, joy, love, pain, anger, lost and etc? guess HE do too... bt in a more 'matured,higher and sacred' version den us, n bcoz we r in HIS image, we can only pray dat like Father like children..for nw as my Father daugther, i m asking HIM to take care of my desire, and needs that have being stirred up for nw.. i see a road in front of me, long and endless.. n i say great, now i will walk on till dunno wen n with no direction.. i try to walk n i tripped, duh, with the intense darkness..n tears drop roll down on my cheek..bt God say, wait a minute, tis isnt life mend to be, with a snap of finger (imagine the sound in ur brain lol), the road is lighten, blinding me actually, n a big comfortable hand on me, n i see the signs post n all indicating whr i should go, then, God say, thr u go, tis is better.. its suppose to be dat way..i wipe my face, i rise n walk.. bracing forward.. well, i can guarantee i will tripped again, definately..i am professional in falling down on stairs n bus n etc..bt i believe in the big hand..
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
random nesssss
1. aaron t suddenly knows all your secrets. What do you have to say about that?
ntg to say..i will just slice his mouth lol..
2. Who would win in a duel, jason lee or aaron t? And what kind of duel would they pick, anyway?
ok, honestly i dunno.. they will pick dota or any games i think..lol..cheers
3. Do you think dan sim is a virgin?
roll on the floor laughing.. ahem, he is i think.. emphasize on i think lol
4. dan sim got turned into an animal! What animal is it?
mouse.. coz he look like mr brian n mr brian look like mouse..lol.i noe tis sound weird lol
5. Do you trust li yan?
as a fren, oh yes..
6. Would you love to read kenny chew's very personal diary?
tempting..bt no..i really respect him as teacher advisor n GG leader..
7. In a race between you, yong mun yee and aaron t, who would win?
lol..aaron t.. he is the tallest, with the longest legs among us., beside me n mun yee will talk n ignore the race lol..
8. Super fun fun adventure amusement park marathon with you, joram loo and abigail sim! How will it go?
lol.. emm, with abi keep taking pic of jo n poking jo? lol, she does dat on mun yee farewell..
9. Who's kenny chew dating?
no one.. alicia keys song =)..he is single n available.. candidate welcome.. lol
10. What's your fondest memory of jason lee?
.........................................
part 2
1. Does michelle goh have any pets?
yes.. her dog n etc.. he dog is her baby.. with the longest name i ever know.. n she call the dog precious
2. How did you meet aaron t?
lol.......on msn through mun yee.. n we didnt noe its the same person...till he say he is coming to kdu n den me n mun yee was wondering izzit the same person..so me n m y invite him to our chat..lol.. n was shock dat its the same person.. den finally met him in cf.. n the rest is history lol
3. Ever slept in the same room with joram loo?
...........................yes.. bt dun think other thing ok.. n no detail lol.. btw, he is just a bro dat i really respect..
4. What is one thing aaron t isn't exactly made for?
emm..........lol, singing i think.. no offend?
5. Have you dreamt of lik ee before?
plz.. no way..
6. dan sim just got vaporized in a freak accident. Now what?
emm....say gudbye for the last time in memorial? if he die adi.. n pray dat God take care of him in heaven? if he is in hospital, den c hw la..lol
7. What is or would be a good nickname for dan sim?
mousey lol
8. What's lik ee to you?
emm..ntg??? lol.. jk..ok la,lik ee is my bro in christ..
9. Describe mun yee in five words.
quiet (but can b talkative at times), listener, fragile, motherly, matured
10. What would you do if you hadn't met anna grace?
i won't have a sleeping partner lol, (i stay at her she for1 month), i won't know wat it means by helping a fren in needs which she show, alwiz offering ppl help.. n i wont get emo becoz of her.. oh i m guilty of treating her for granted at times.. i wont b enjoying the frenship with gal..i wont have all the beroom talk.. i wont feel the loss wen she leave soon to aussie.. okok, enough emo d.. i will save it later ..
http://mct421.deviantart.com/art/Question-Meme-Generator-69266481
courtesy of mun yee..=)
ntg to say..i will just slice his mouth lol..
2. Who would win in a duel, jason lee or aaron t? And what kind of duel would they pick, anyway?
ok, honestly i dunno.. they will pick dota or any games i think..lol..cheers
3. Do you think dan sim is a virgin?
roll on the floor laughing.. ahem, he is i think.. emphasize on i think lol
4. dan sim got turned into an animal! What animal is it?
mouse.. coz he look like mr brian n mr brian look like mouse..lol.i noe tis sound weird lol
5. Do you trust li yan?
as a fren, oh yes..
6. Would you love to read kenny chew's very personal diary?
tempting..bt no..i really respect him as teacher advisor n GG leader..
7. In a race between you, yong mun yee and aaron t, who would win?
lol..aaron t.. he is the tallest, with the longest legs among us., beside me n mun yee will talk n ignore the race lol..
8. Super fun fun adventure amusement park marathon with you, joram loo and abigail sim! How will it go?
lol.. emm, with abi keep taking pic of jo n poking jo? lol, she does dat on mun yee farewell..
9. Who's kenny chew dating?
no one.. alicia keys song =)..he is single n available.. candidate welcome.. lol
10. What's your fondest memory of jason lee?
.........................................
part 2
1. Does michelle goh have any pets?
yes.. her dog n etc.. he dog is her baby.. with the longest name i ever know.. n she call the dog precious
2. How did you meet aaron t?
lol.......on msn through mun yee.. n we didnt noe its the same person...till he say he is coming to kdu n den me n mun yee was wondering izzit the same person..so me n m y invite him to our chat..lol.. n was shock dat its the same person.. den finally met him in cf.. n the rest is history lol
3. Ever slept in the same room with joram loo?
...........................yes.. bt dun think other thing ok.. n no detail lol.. btw, he is just a bro dat i really respect..
4. What is one thing aaron t isn't exactly made for?
emm..........lol, singing i think.. no offend?
5. Have you dreamt of lik ee before?
plz.. no way..
6. dan sim just got vaporized in a freak accident. Now what?
emm....say gudbye for the last time in memorial? if he die adi.. n pray dat God take care of him in heaven? if he is in hospital, den c hw la..lol
7. What is or would be a good nickname for dan sim?
mousey lol
8. What's lik ee to you?
emm..ntg??? lol.. jk..ok la,lik ee is my bro in christ..
9. Describe mun yee in five words.
quiet (but can b talkative at times), listener, fragile, motherly, matured
10. What would you do if you hadn't met anna grace?
i won't have a sleeping partner lol, (i stay at her she for1 month), i won't know wat it means by helping a fren in needs which she show, alwiz offering ppl help.. n i wont get emo becoz of her.. oh i m guilty of treating her for granted at times.. i wont b enjoying the frenship with gal..i wont have all the beroom talk.. i wont feel the loss wen she leave soon to aussie.. okok, enough emo d.. i will save it later ..
http://mct421.deviantart.com/art/Question-Meme-Generator-69266481
courtesy of mun yee..=)
Saturday, April 19, 2008
aaron t birthday
the birthday boy.. aaron tam
it's aaron 20th birthday lol..finally reach the number 20 haha.. anyway, we went right for u to celebrate..oh n we cam pose alot lol..especially with roy camera.. with anna g obsess over abigail lol.. yea, we noe abigail is cute..lol.. and i think we left the place last..the whole place can hear our voice lol..n thx lik ee for organizing it.. haha, aaron present consist of a book, mark of a man and a hillsong cd..lol. cool rite? hope he enjoy it..lol.. and dat nite, we all suddenly decide to act cute and 'lala' lol.. we watch three kingdom after the dinner, just aaron, anna, lik ee and me.. well, check out the pics..
p.s the foods are mouth watering
just some words
hey, it is nt advice la..bt just something i think its true.. i remember its from a book.. dun remember wa title lol.. its said, if gals wan to noe the guys is truly gentleman, check out hw he treat his sis and mum..
Thursday, April 17, 2008
children
one time, me, michelle and harrison are talking about hw some new generation parents have no hitting policy unlike us, the older generation whom parents still believe in hitting policy.. and the ranting goes on like kids nowadays are so spoiled and etc.. the parents won't hit them and will just tell them nicely their mistake.. michelle claim that this way will nvr work.. for me, the kids nwadays are too well protected and i m sure in any other way, they want independant.. the hitting or not is up to parent.coz there are pro and cons in everything.. this policy may i add depend on the children emotional level too.. some may be too fragile to get hitting, as it may damage their self esteem, but some may need a little spanking. i also heard from mun yee in hillsongs kids, they don't hit kids, they believe in treating kids as a adult or may i say human that understand words, anna agreed.. haha, i guess for me, if u treat the child as young adult, then even if he is not, he will try to be, coz he wan to live up to the trust u given.. and i think, as violent as a kid may be, thr is alwiz an issue behind it.. well, patient is needed to tackle it.. best is, ask God to show u about it.. one thing i alwiz believe, no child is accident, it is a add on of the love of the parents whether it is out of mistake or unplanned.. it is still a gift to the parent like it or nt, a life created out of passionate moment between two (i noe tis doesn't include pregnancy out of rape or force sex).. even in womb, a child can sense rejection..
oh and hw michelle hate it wen children ran amok and scream in public places, lol.. n i begin to wonder, wat will i do if it is my kids, i mean ppl sure find it irritating and all, well, its too early to think la lol, bt i still can't help wonder like how i will train my child (will i use the child attach thingy like wat michelle say-tie ur child to u in public so dat they dun run amok bt still, come to think, they r kids, so yea, depending..beside, it is a gud way to lost weight as u run to chase them lol..), hw i will educate them (should i send them to sunday school or homeschool? to avoid wrong teaching, noo offence bt thr is caution of the sunday school teaching), will i be strict or not,will i practice hitting or no hitting policy, will their faith be influence because of me (how should i let them discover a relationship with God but yet nt make them believe it becoz it is a family faith, how to build their foundation in God that they really noe who is HIM nt based on what i say who HE is.. sometime, i even thinking for a term, wen they r old enough, let them stay somewhr without the family, and let them choose their faith freely, no forcing that every sun u must go as a family to church n etc. u have a choice as God gave everyone a choice, then only the faith is a strong foundation wen u choose urself) and etc etc, all tis questionis in my mind .. one thing for sure, i will definately ask God to shower them love.. a Love higher than my love and bcoz it is this Love i can love, nt forgetting that if i have children, it is HIS power that granted it. wat i learn being a daughter of God is (no one can be a mother without being a daughter) , HE will give HIS children the inheritance wen they are able to handle it.. and sometime HE even trust u more than HE should, and sometime u wasted it (i noe i did out of my childish way or bcoz i m a spiritual bastard, untill i noe my position in HIM), bt HE will wait for u to grow and matured before it is trusted to u again.. and every child have diff level of spiritual maturity thus diff level of inheritance, thrfore diff way of raising them bt it doesnt mean favouritism.. also, God dun value u for ur result, ur work, ur knowledge, ur success, HE as a father, cherish us because we r from HIM, becoz we want us for who we r.. like a mother who still love the son even wen he make mistake..yes, God the father is hurt everytime we make mistake and fall, but HE wan to restore us wen we repent..HIS love is able to forgive our iniquity.. That will be a lesson i wan to pass down..
well, the journey is getting more interesting.. i will walk on to c more... and sry for blabering.. too bad, writing is a way i communicate myself and present my thoughts.. i only long winded in writing.. i wont b able to speak so much ...lol.. my frens should b thxful..
oh and hw michelle hate it wen children ran amok and scream in public places, lol.. n i begin to wonder, wat will i do if it is my kids, i mean ppl sure find it irritating and all, well, its too early to think la lol, bt i still can't help wonder like how i will train my child (will i use the child attach thingy like wat michelle say-tie ur child to u in public so dat they dun run amok bt still, come to think, they r kids, so yea, depending..beside, it is a gud way to lost weight as u run to chase them lol..), hw i will educate them (should i send them to sunday school or homeschool? to avoid wrong teaching, noo offence bt thr is caution of the sunday school teaching), will i be strict or not,will i practice hitting or no hitting policy, will their faith be influence because of me (how should i let them discover a relationship with God but yet nt make them believe it becoz it is a family faith, how to build their foundation in God that they really noe who is HIM nt based on what i say who HE is.. sometime, i even thinking for a term, wen they r old enough, let them stay somewhr without the family, and let them choose their faith freely, no forcing that every sun u must go as a family to church n etc. u have a choice as God gave everyone a choice, then only the faith is a strong foundation wen u choose urself) and etc etc, all tis questionis in my mind .. one thing for sure, i will definately ask God to shower them love.. a Love higher than my love and bcoz it is this Love i can love, nt forgetting that if i have children, it is HIS power that granted it. wat i learn being a daughter of God is (no one can be a mother without being a daughter) , HE will give HIS children the inheritance wen they are able to handle it.. and sometime HE even trust u more than HE should, and sometime u wasted it (i noe i did out of my childish way or bcoz i m a spiritual bastard, untill i noe my position in HIM), bt HE will wait for u to grow and matured before it is trusted to u again.. and every child have diff level of spiritual maturity thus diff level of inheritance, thrfore diff way of raising them bt it doesnt mean favouritism.. also, God dun value u for ur result, ur work, ur knowledge, ur success, HE as a father, cherish us because we r from HIM, becoz we want us for who we r.. like a mother who still love the son even wen he make mistake..yes, God the father is hurt everytime we make mistake and fall, but HE wan to restore us wen we repent..HIS love is able to forgive our iniquity.. That will be a lesson i wan to pass down..
well, the journey is getting more interesting.. i will walk on to c more... and sry for blabering.. too bad, writing is a way i communicate myself and present my thoughts.. i only long winded in writing.. i wont b able to speak so much ...lol.. my frens should b thxful..
just my life
overwhelmed is the word i will use nw.. just fill with work and some other 'distraction' haha.. well, so yeah, i am in my blur and silence mood maybe slightly impatient, forgive me for it. bt I maybe very hyper on certain time and ppl.. ahaha... guess nt just me that is stress by work, michelle goh as well... she is so blur that she nearly bang by car thinking of her statistic assignment..probably she is counting the probability of her being bang that the car...lol.. oh and everything she see is all in statistic especially probability..well, degree is tough but life move on... and my ankle is better d..lol..
aaron birthday dinner is soon (happy 20th birthday bro!).. say, in few hours time ahaha.. will post the pics is got.. talking about pics, i uploaded alot of pics in the new created album called pics pics =) in facebook.. check it out.. and in kducf.blogspot, pics of recruitment drive is up..
i can't wait for my next week break.. break, here i am waiting for u.. come quick!!!
aaron birthday dinner is soon (happy 20th birthday bro!).. say, in few hours time ahaha.. will post the pics is got.. talking about pics, i uploaded alot of pics in the new created album called pics pics =) in facebook.. check it out.. and in kducf.blogspot, pics of recruitment drive is up..
i can't wait for my next week break.. break, here i am waiting for u.. come quick!!!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
ankle story
haha..sry to gross u guys!!! well, twisted my ankle at the stairs of my hse.. domestic violence haha.. wat a price to pay for rushing to use the computer (yes, i noe its lame), in order to complete my asignment..
enjoy the pic haha
Friday, April 11, 2008
post post
i noe long time didn't upload d.. been bz..with degree studies.. yea.. n i actually study!!!! believe it or nt haha.. below the evident of me studying!!!!! i noe rite? so rajin.. tis pic is curtesy of michelle goh.. haha.. she said it is sight of the year (me studying) and aaron t say joke of the century.. n pity me, i have to defend myslef..dat i do study beside exam time.. emm, do book beside text book count? =p
anyway, lotsa things happen.. just dunno hw to fit all here.. till time make me write la..lol.. emm, cheers
p.s i am bt who i am, i may act differently accordng to ppl n situation (call it fake or fitting it but most of the time, level of comfortablity or circumstances is the factors), i may be easily influence by ppl (especially michelle g, n gal, just dun take credit haha) but most importantly i am who God say who i am, no matter hw i may act (whether i act hw a christian suppose to act, bt of course HE will change me n rebuke me gently if i done wrong bt its all coz HE is teaching me) .. sry,it may sound emo, or hard to understand.. sry dat tis is whr i let out my thoughts, so just forgive me if wat i say u dun agree. at last, plz use ur heart to c a person, dun use other angle but ur hearts, its best with God heart n eyes to c a person. =) cz lotsa time, even myself, we make mistake by using our own eyes to c a person.. I have learned dat using God eyes to c a person grant u compassion n deeper understanding..
Sunday, March 23, 2008
my baptism
testimony time..
preparing..
yay, I am in the water...
up (alive)since last year the baptism question were posted to me.. and since I am new to the church and all, i consulted my elder, uncle hock seng along with aaron tam.. Uncle Hock Seng patiently lead us to understand more.. I am shown by God how this church function as a family, supporting each other after I went back home from consulting.. most importantly, when i ask God should I get baptize, HE didin't answer me yes or no, instead, HE said, HE can't make decision that i am suppose to make for HIM..that time, I know I am not ready yet..and i remembered the time is Christmas time..
and time flies, and it's flying to easter (alot have happened in between,and God is faithful).. again mr kenny posted me this baptism question... then, one fine day, I am very lazy to go cf prayer meet, but thr is this prompting that i am to attend it. God presence is thr as usual whr we seek HIM corporately, and I must say its my desire to pray out of HIS heart.. then again, when mr ken, drove me to one u for my shuttle van,he ask me for my baptism confirmation.. after I catch my shuttle van, I am reminded that the decision can only be made by myself, and looking back, I know how much love God have showered to me..then, this scene came to me, a man have long prepared to propose a gurl..he is ready with ring, flowers, make the restaurant reservation, but he have to woo and court the gurl first before he can do the proposal.. most importantly, the gurl have to either say yes or no to his proposal.. now i understand y God bring me to this scene, to show that baptism is a marriage and it means commitment for a marriage..HE adi have the proposal long ago for me, but HE is patiently waiting for me to say yes to HIM..to say yes to declare HE is my Bridegroom and to belong to my church family.. by then, my heart is clear of what to do, I say yes..and the joy came..
after my decision, baptism class started and then explanation by elder, Uncle Chris (called interview..lol, but it's quite informal and uncle chris joke somemore)
and on the big day, the easter day (can't sleep the night before, too excited hahah).. i noe God is with me all the way, especially in the freezing water,lol..yeap, I do I do.. God glory is shown on that day..HIS victory is bursting with joy.. we celebrate! i just can't seem to thx God enough to bring me to this church whr the elders is all sensitive to HIS spirit.. God have use this church to bring me breakthrough.. even on that day, after our guest speaker finish, God wan to have more victory, HE pour down HIS healing, deliverance and annointing.. ppl just cry, kneel, Words of live is given, apostle and prophetic annointing were given.. amazing.. I just stand thr and let my tears flow as God break me from generation curse..another breakthrough..
from sue en's blog
http://su-en13.blogspot.com/2008/02/woman.html
read this post from my church mate blog, she is talking about this japanese series, 1 litre of tears.. and its really nice.. especially the part of the movie, whr the mum said, above all, I am a mother.. for me, it means no matter wat, she will be fullfiling her duty as a mother.. for me, it just like God's faithfulness.. hw beautiful.. hw strong is a mother love..hw much greater is God faithfulness for us..
i just want to add to the crying part, yes, go ahead and cry, it does not ake u seem weak or nt in control, it means u have the courage to release it through tears and it is beautiful to be vulnerable to God.. trust me, all the tears is precious to God..beside, breakthrough come with tears.. after u cry, i m sure u noe u r lighther.. after crying, u will be able to stand again.. plz don't give up by bottled up ur emotion.. and oh yes, i do need alot of crying to b who I am today, and more to come, but I am nt worried, because like child birth, the pain of crying is just temporarily and when u see the 'child' (the victory) after u 'push' (release), u will remember the joy..
so even for guys, have a good cry when u need it.. find a place whr u can have all the space and piracy u need to have the 'child'.. And most importanly, be honest, if u are angry, make aware of the feeling, tell God and HE won't mind ur language, HE is big enough for ur bashing.. seriously, this is important, because, in order to solve problem, u need to be honest, yes, u need to honor and praise God, but when u dun feel that way, tell HIM frankly no matter how disrespecting u may sound..
p.s read her post and enjoy..
read this post from my church mate blog, she is talking about this japanese series, 1 litre of tears.. and its really nice.. especially the part of the movie, whr the mum said, above all, I am a mother.. for me, it means no matter wat, she will be fullfiling her duty as a mother.. for me, it just like God's faithfulness.. hw beautiful.. hw strong is a mother love..hw much greater is God faithfulness for us..
i just want to add to the crying part, yes, go ahead and cry, it does not ake u seem weak or nt in control, it means u have the courage to release it through tears and it is beautiful to be vulnerable to God.. trust me, all the tears is precious to God..beside, breakthrough come with tears.. after u cry, i m sure u noe u r lighther.. after crying, u will be able to stand again.. plz don't give up by bottled up ur emotion.. and oh yes, i do need alot of crying to b who I am today, and more to come, but I am nt worried, because like child birth, the pain of crying is just temporarily and when u see the 'child' (the victory) after u 'push' (release), u will remember the joy..
so even for guys, have a good cry when u need it.. find a place whr u can have all the space and piracy u need to have the 'child'.. And most importanly, be honest, if u are angry, make aware of the feeling, tell God and HE won't mind ur language, HE is big enough for ur bashing.. seriously, this is important, because, in order to solve problem, u need to be honest, yes, u need to honor and praise God, but when u dun feel that way, tell HIM frankly no matter how disrespecting u may sound..
p.s read her post and enjoy..
cf outing
ok, on thurs (public hols), cf organize a outing to 'park'..me and michelle goh didn't know it was a forest park, so we wore wedges..swt..i heard its just picnic.. anway, i should have guess and wear shoe instead of wedges..sigh..so, i end up finishing a short jungle tracking with wedges.. hahahaha.......and didn't tripped.. great achievement alrite.. miss angeline, mr kenny, kevin and yoke kheng were so impressed..lol.. say i perseverance and etc..lol.. it was fun and i luv the fresh air of forest.. cool plants and all, can't afford to miss it.. will post pics soon..lol..oh, btw, michelle chicken out..lol..she hide to paul condo..which is walkng distance to the park..
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
just another post..
well.. ntg to do..waiting for class to start..and with michelle goh laptop.. what do i do beside on9 and blogging lol.. anyway, just to kill time...
suprisingly i still have the mood to blog..lol.. veri veri tired..somehw it's my fault, sleep late and well, next day, u will be like , ok i m a zombie (a tired zombie means silence, mean n etc..) okla, i won't be mean la..just abit negative in my inner being, but dun worry i do have self control... so yeah, tomolo is cf outing and den easter practice.. so today must go home and rest..lol, going to abandon the 2 gals dat stay over my hse and sleep..wahahah..evil me... at nite somemore got baptism class.. really must rest!! oh ya, assignment pilling in too..
and i will stop here.. half way blogging, jason reminded me to 'pick up' youth from calvary church to evangelise..
suprisingly i still have the mood to blog..lol.. veri veri tired..somehw it's my fault, sleep late and well, next day, u will be like , ok i m a zombie (a tired zombie means silence, mean n etc..) okla, i won't be mean la..just abit negative in my inner being, but dun worry i do have self control... so yeah, tomolo is cf outing and den easter practice.. so today must go home and rest..lol, going to abandon the 2 gals dat stay over my hse and sleep..wahahah..evil me... at nite somemore got baptism class.. really must rest!! oh ya, assignment pilling in too..
and i will stop here.. half way blogging, jason reminded me to 'pick up' youth from calvary church to evangelise..
Sunday, March 16, 2008
mr kenny chew phye ken birthday
groupie (after mr ken left..emm..sad rite? too bad he gotto rush off to babysit his nephew)
spagetti sos-- ok, i can't say i made it myself..or not michelle goh going to kill me..fine, she help me alot lol..
alright, this one, i definately made it myself..i am proud of my mocktail
the birthday mr kenny! looks who at the back..lol.abigail
miss angeline, aaron tam, clement, and jason..
drinking festival?just updates
i noe its been long since i post..lol..no prompting..lol
anyway..just to inform u all..lol..i m getting baptize.. one word, i can't wait.. coz i noe that God literally just let the joy burst forth when i make this decision..this commitment from me to HIM.. so yea, having baptism class soon.. =)
and lol, i am doing the online thingy for CF.. so yeah, visit, kdu cf facebook (profile and group- if u wish to join, just let me noe yah =))and blog(www.kducf.blogspot.com)
oh and a blessed birthday for mr kenny!! i will post some of the spagetti and mocktail made by me to him.. lol..thx for all his kindness to drive me around n etc..
and I can't wait for cf outing..haha,.. till then.. take care!!
anyway..just to inform u all..lol..i m getting baptize.. one word, i can't wait.. coz i noe that God literally just let the joy burst forth when i make this decision..this commitment from me to HIM.. so yea, having baptism class soon.. =)
and lol, i am doing the online thingy for CF.. so yeah, visit, kdu cf facebook (profile and group- if u wish to join, just let me noe yah =))and blog(www.kducf.blogspot.com)
oh and a blessed birthday for mr kenny!! i will post some of the spagetti and mocktail made by me to him.. lol..thx for all his kindness to drive me around n etc..
and I can't wait for cf outing..haha,.. till then.. take care!!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
thoughts
one day, my mum forget to pick up my bro from tuition center (coz she were too tired after work n just drop another bro off) anyway...he suggested dat he use cab to go bck home.. mum hestitated n all.. but after some talk, she agreed. i noe its a small matter but its like a mother bird slowly letting her child fly, even if she is worried n all.. for parent, we r alwiz a baby. well, i noe its nt a big deal for him to take cab n all..but for him , it is, a 15 year old boy who normally protected by mum n all.. my mum protected us, too much sometime, my dad is the one who understand the need for us to survive on our own.. u noe la, mum alwiz the one protect the children n all.. well, by taking cab, its means he get to learn to wait for a cab, tell the hse add n point direction n b aware of the cab driver.. its might b a small thing, but its a step to prepare him to fly as a individual, as a man.. by using cab, he will have the sense of accomplishment (i noe it might nt b accomplishment for u) n being independant.. so, yeah, dats y u r encourage to let ur children do things on their own, with approciate guide of course... it does matters, wen we noe we r trusted to do things..
Friday, February 15, 2008
happy CNY!
well, Happy CNY everybody! have fun!
this year cny have been with foods and mind u, its spicy foods as i m bck in hometown, kelantan.. so yeah, got ang pao n lotsa drinks n foods! hahaha... will lose the calorie soon ..lol.. but, oh well, i can't resist foods n drinks, can I? bt most importantly, i get to sepnd time with my family, especially the long journey of driving bck to kelantan. 8 hours, hehe, we just talk n sleep all the way..
and, my degree classes finally starting on next mon.. hehe .. after 3 months of holidays..dun get jealous ya ppl! =p
oh and, I started the book, give me forty days by freeda bowler.. a devotion book.. my church program ghehehe.. oh ya, to my GG leader n kdu cf teacher advisor, mr kenny, i m doing tis book d!!! haha..i am sure he will sigh the relieved sigh, n say finally lol..
well, can't wait for God to work miracle througout tis 40 days..
also, KDU CF have been interesting, new incoming commitee and all.. so yeah, a time of new ppl.. easter is our upcoming event, can't wait for the program n all.. also, i pray dat i can start the study of the book called life unlimited to the incoming commitee... we need more incoming commited ppl, n we r waiting for the march intake ppl n so on.. anyway, we praise God dat CF members have been consistent n increasing.. just continue to uphold us in prayer
this year cny have been with foods and mind u, its spicy foods as i m bck in hometown, kelantan.. so yeah, got ang pao n lotsa drinks n foods! hahaha... will lose the calorie soon ..lol.. but, oh well, i can't resist foods n drinks, can I? bt most importantly, i get to sepnd time with my family, especially the long journey of driving bck to kelantan. 8 hours, hehe, we just talk n sleep all the way..
and, my degree classes finally starting on next mon.. hehe .. after 3 months of holidays..dun get jealous ya ppl! =p
oh and, I started the book, give me forty days by freeda bowler.. a devotion book.. my church program ghehehe.. oh ya, to my GG leader n kdu cf teacher advisor, mr kenny, i m doing tis book d!!! haha..i am sure he will sigh the relieved sigh, n say finally lol..
well, can't wait for God to work miracle througout tis 40 days..
also, KDU CF have been interesting, new incoming commitee and all.. so yeah, a time of new ppl.. easter is our upcoming event, can't wait for the program n all.. also, i pray dat i can start the study of the book called life unlimited to the incoming commitee... we need more incoming commited ppl, n we r waiting for the march intake ppl n so on.. anyway, we praise God dat CF members have been consistent n increasing.. just continue to uphold us in prayer
Friday, January 18, 2008
updates
its jan and all..i m mostly at home being a "house guard" and i get paid haha... anyway, i decided to withdraw from commitee in CF.. i also found out how attach i m to CF.. but my season is up thr.. well, if no sucessor for my position, i will have to wait and see when God will send.. training for the subcommitee will start soon and i hope sucessors can come out from thr.. its a joy that some of the newer commitee in CF are having a blast, even in commitee meet(whr we normally veri formal and quiet) now, they all so hyper and comfortable throwing ideas and jokes that even miss angeline is entertain haha.. well, can't wait for easter, canp and etc..
when i decided to step down from commitee in CF, i keep wondering what will happen after that with my college life and all.. that make all the memory i have thr come up.. hw i m aware so many memories were created thr, whether it is fellwoship, pain from the conflict and fight.. all the jokes too.. its all far too valuable to me.. i also wonder how is God going to continue the connection HE gave to us (u noe who u guys r).. HE keep assuring me that connection that HE gave wil not be broken like that, unless HE allows it.. i were also assured that HE will bring me better plans for this year even as i step down..a new vine, a diff season.. its exciting to noe that ur future is so secure in HIM, that HE holds ur future..one thing, even wen some of us step down, we will still help out and it will always remains as a part of process in our life.. for that, I am grateful...
when i decided to step down from commitee in CF, i keep wondering what will happen after that with my college life and all.. that make all the memory i have thr come up.. hw i m aware so many memories were created thr, whether it is fellwoship, pain from the conflict and fight.. all the jokes too.. its all far too valuable to me.. i also wonder how is God going to continue the connection HE gave to us (u noe who u guys r).. HE keep assuring me that connection that HE gave wil not be broken like that, unless HE allows it.. i were also assured that HE will bring me better plans for this year even as i step down..a new vine, a diff season.. its exciting to noe that ur future is so secure in HIM, that HE holds ur future..one thing, even wen some of us step down, we will still help out and it will always remains as a part of process in our life.. for that, I am grateful...
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
LOVE...
I need love! i admit dat.. i longs to be deeply love.. i do fear of abandoment n loneliness.. but God always shower me His love wen i need it.. HE always c my desire n touch me with His tender love.. every time when i am lonely , HE will come to my rescue.. i just pray for more of HIS love .. HE is the man dat love me always without any doubt (n HE ask em nt to doubt HIS love) and HE adore n delight in me.. oh yes, I am a gurl of biiterness, loneliness, sorrow ad failure, but He choose to love me.. I just can't imagine it..I am in wonder of HIS love... HE woo me with ways that HE know i will be touch-such as revealing HIS love through books because i reads alot, stroking my hair, kissing me, dance with me and whisper to me my worth...wow, HE understand my love language and love me the way I want.. one thing, HE is willing to do that to all HIS children.. those that hunger for it..
december happening
yay, its dec.. a mont worth of celebrating.. first of all, its hols, exam finish.. seconf of all.. its Christmas!! for anyone interested, the KDU CF carolling pics are available...ask me for it! we CF are a bunch of posers, so that is more that 200 pics available haha.. n we have loads of fun.. the gals look fantastic n stunning with make up n hairdo plus red top n white skirt of pants.. the guys look dazzlingly handsome with all black formal attire n tie.. check out the pics.. Huge camp is next in my dec calender.. wow, God is moving at the camp.. will have a post regarding huge camp soon hopefully.. wait ya.. went for a vacation with my family in the Mines after dat.. have a restful time n find out dat mines is slowly closing..sad.. anyway, have a gud time with my family.. Christmas carnival is on my next list.. a combined churches carnival for the community.. it was amazing.. Hindu man proclaim dat Christmas is for Christ!Halleluyah.. we went thr at 8, decorating our game store n den ppl start flooding it around 10 n about 1pm we finish the game prizes, so close store..our church in charge in 3 game stall beside nail and painting store.. after game stall close, i continue to help in the free nail painting store.. haha, i nvr really put on nail enamel eventough i have at home, but thx goodness i manage to do it n have fun...most small little gurls hand are challenging to paint as the brush is bigger than their delicate nail, but i love doing it lol...
after Christmas carnival, ntg much, just have a small meet with anna they all to exchange Christmas presents.. the rest of the day stay at home with family.. great to spend time with family n rest..still waiting for the coming of risk game day... anyway,new year d, next on my list is to work till feb.. can't wait for feb wen college open.. miss kdu lol.. searching for work nw..
will blog more about huge n my church soon............
after Christmas carnival, ntg much, just have a small meet with anna they all to exchange Christmas presents.. the rest of the day stay at home with family.. great to spend time with family n rest..still waiting for the coming of risk game day... anyway,new year d, next on my list is to work till feb.. can't wait for feb wen college open.. miss kdu lol.. searching for work nw..
will blog more about huge n my church soon............
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
waiting
i dunno y but i love this image or bumper sticker form facebook hehe..
thr is beauty in waiting... n even more worth if u wait for the right one... the God ordained Heroic love... thr is pain and loneliness in waiting..but love is not self seeking, meaning for me, it does nt seek to satisy ur loneliness...God will send ur hero wen u r satisfy in HIM n seek HIM first, for it is at dat time u r capable of loving the other one or others ppl... wen u r full of luv, den only u can flow ur love...
i noe i noe it is painful, but a sacrificial love is the most high love, it does not only apply on Jesus but on us too... mayb u say i get tis from a movie n all.. but yea, wat i wan to say is dat, if u love a person, surrender the person to God, let the person free to soar...surrender the person to God, bcoz u noe, it is the safest place he or she can be... u noe love hurts alot of time.. sometimes, owning the person bfore the rite timing or wen God din say yes can be hurting the person, u n God... u protect the person by surrending him or her in a save hands like God.. u will hurt the person wen u r nt ready to be committed in a relationship, u holds a lot of emotional bagage n etc..den it will b best to wait on God to deal with urself, as i mention in another post dat love is nt self seeking (nt to satisfy ur loneliness n nt to ease ur emotional bagage). relationship is nt about two ppl, it involve God n even ur family n frens...thr is a certain responsiblity involved....sometimes, fairy tales doesnt end with the prince or princess together happily but rather letting him or her free to chase his or her dreams and happiness...wen u r able to let go a person, den u r able to embrace and understand true love..God let us do our choice too, HE nvr force us to be own by HIM but rather HE let us love n run to HIM by sacrificing HIS son.. also, a mother, who at the end will have to accept the fact she raise her children in order to free them as a capable adult...she sacrifice for her children in order to set them free, chasing their own dreams n happiness, no price could ne paid..dat is love....
in a movie- thr is a part- whr the heroin pray..she mention about diff kind of love dat exsist, a love ever strong yet not voice outvand the tenderness expressed in a stuborn way, keep flowing in the heart, a father love towards the son.. another kind of love, a love that is mystic, the giver give out of control and it comes in a mysterious way, the gentleness is subtle, whr the lover's ex girlfren who patiently wait for him to wake up n take care of him.. another love is the deep sacrifice love, a love that is without shape n in the air..a love that is hope and the cut is made because it is necessary, she have to let the lover free and the cut is made out of a unwillingness to break apart but it is made at the boldness of love.because the lover n the gal love is too deep, the gal make a choice to let go in order to give the lover a better live..she wan the lover to have all her blessing n live with happiness..she wan him to have a full life n dun want to hurt him anymore...(the lover met an accident in order to raise the money they need to build the dream she have)
realization
i realized something thesedays:
i noe i m imperfect n a failure, full of mistake, but once i m child of God, i have to be someone else, because becoming Christian is to die n live again. wen u die, ur new self rise, u r a new being d, a whole new person.. so, nw i have to declare to the cycle of mistake n failure dat it no longer have a bondage over me.. God the ever perfect Father created me with His hand, hw could i be imperfect if i am created in HIS image n likeness? God want to restore me to be the perfect being HE created me..well, even then, i m nt saying dat once i m child of God n declare tis, i can b perfect instancely.. i m simply a fallen human, imperfect, with failures n hurts, slowly letting the Potter hands restoring me to what it is intended to be, the holy spirit control n change me day by day... I m imperfect but HIS perfect LOVE catch me with my flaws. time after time, yes i cry after failures n failures n simply conclude dat i m a failure..but i learned from it n the experience helps me to rely on God.. most of time, the failure is a cycle of past hurts which only God can restore as I release to HIM.
i noe ppl dat is without mistake n can't stand mistake..think about it, it is a mistake wen adam n eve sins.. dats y we strive to make it up by achieving tis n dat n live flawlessly... those mistakes also help me to understand ppl with mistake n hw to fix it or rather hw to deal with the consequences.wat u have go through will grant u the understanding n compassion over ppl who fails in the past..u also learn from past experience n not to repeat it.. its all part of growing up..even albert einstein said, all those failures is nt really failures, he just discover what can't be used for his light.
in the end, yes, i apologise for doing so many mistake..especially over all the trouble cause....
i noe i m imperfect n a failure, full of mistake, but once i m child of God, i have to be someone else, because becoming Christian is to die n live again. wen u die, ur new self rise, u r a new being d, a whole new person.. so, nw i have to declare to the cycle of mistake n failure dat it no longer have a bondage over me.. God the ever perfect Father created me with His hand, hw could i be imperfect if i am created in HIS image n likeness? God want to restore me to be the perfect being HE created me..well, even then, i m nt saying dat once i m child of God n declare tis, i can b perfect instancely.. i m simply a fallen human, imperfect, with failures n hurts, slowly letting the Potter hands restoring me to what it is intended to be, the holy spirit control n change me day by day... I m imperfect but HIS perfect LOVE catch me with my flaws. time after time, yes i cry after failures n failures n simply conclude dat i m a failure..but i learned from it n the experience helps me to rely on God.. most of time, the failure is a cycle of past hurts which only God can restore as I release to HIM.
i noe ppl dat is without mistake n can't stand mistake..think about it, it is a mistake wen adam n eve sins.. dats y we strive to make it up by achieving tis n dat n live flawlessly... those mistakes also help me to understand ppl with mistake n hw to fix it or rather hw to deal with the consequences.wat u have go through will grant u the understanding n compassion over ppl who fails in the past..u also learn from past experience n not to repeat it.. its all part of growing up..even albert einstein said, all those failures is nt really failures, he just discover what can't be used for his light.
in the end, yes, i apologise for doing so many mistake..especially over all the trouble cause....
the Perfect LOVE
i m going to reveal something mushy gushy haha....
yeah, i m talking about love...thr are different kind of love ...
i for once pray for a Hero to show up, a light shining armor to swept my feet away.. a hero dat will protect me, love me, believe in my value, accept me for who I am n gently lead me to another level (spiritual)with his heroic or poetic love..he noes i m imperfect but all the imperfect can be conquer with a perfect love... a hero is someone who is willing to fight for me, but dun mistaken it to jealousy of human but rather the fight is to restore back what is sarced to me or what is meaningful to me..for example, he will fight for me (support n pray for me, wen attack from the enemy come, he will take his sword at the right time) wen he noes dat it has been my dream to preach the gospel...a hero also have to be gentleman but dats alone is nt enough, being a gentleman is nt an act but because of courtesy n love (he does not help u to open door becoz u can't do it and let him feel superior bcoz he can do things for u but rather becoz he want to help u in a sincere heart..at the same time of helping, he trust u can do it, so at times, he just beside u, supporting u and give u the support wen u need it. most importantly,a hero will be secure in God love and secure in his position as God child n warrior. a hero is someone strong yet gentle (made in the image of God)...a hero is someone u could c a future in him... a hero dat is gifted from God to u(gals), is someone dat will seek God (the highest force) wen u do and wash ur ears with God words..also, wen u r undergoing a change in ur walk with God (say a deeper level of intimacy with God or a diff season) he will be supportive n protect u, even wen the season is nt easy..he do nt need to say anything but rather hold ur hand n just let his presence hear by u, or pray and cry with u.. a hand dat catch u wen u fall...thr is more..but it is enough for nw...
i was asked one question before, ppl always change, one day, will u wake up n find dat ur love towards the person change especially as u grow older... i just realized one thing, if it is God ordained love, the perfect love will withhold both of them n best of all, God will work with both of them on a level whr one change, one will change to understand wat is going on..it is important dat both of them seek God, therefore able to communicate as they are tie by God together, the changes (eg, diff seasons) will be dealt at a understanding heart-for God will reveal to the another person what u r going through, if both of u r close to each other hearts, put each other in prayer, God for sure will reveal or help u to interceed for each other..God will also allow both of u to go through same spiritual growth as both of u seek HIM together, allowing the understanding of hearts happen... then, the love will not die but grow as the two are able to communicate in the truth of love n have the same spiritual maturity as they seek HIM together.
p.s. yes, i have high expectation for the 'hero' becoz my Father in heaven says i m worth it, same goes with all gals...i noe dat sometime i act strong and thr is no need for a hero..but looks can be deceiving haha..so i still need guys to help me to carry things lol, and lesson number one, wen a gal say no, it means yes, i noe its confusing guys, but too bad..it just gurls haha...they are shy wahahahahah
yeah, i m talking about love...thr are different kind of love ...
i for once pray for a Hero to show up, a light shining armor to swept my feet away.. a hero dat will protect me, love me, believe in my value, accept me for who I am n gently lead me to another level (spiritual)with his heroic or poetic love..he noes i m imperfect but all the imperfect can be conquer with a perfect love... a hero is someone who is willing to fight for me, but dun mistaken it to jealousy of human but rather the fight is to restore back what is sarced to me or what is meaningful to me..for example, he will fight for me (support n pray for me, wen attack from the enemy come, he will take his sword at the right time) wen he noes dat it has been my dream to preach the gospel...a hero also have to be gentleman but dats alone is nt enough, being a gentleman is nt an act but because of courtesy n love (he does not help u to open door becoz u can't do it and let him feel superior bcoz he can do things for u but rather becoz he want to help u in a sincere heart..at the same time of helping, he trust u can do it, so at times, he just beside u, supporting u and give u the support wen u need it. most importantly,a hero will be secure in God love and secure in his position as God child n warrior. a hero is someone strong yet gentle (made in the image of God)...a hero is someone u could c a future in him... a hero dat is gifted from God to u(gals), is someone dat will seek God (the highest force) wen u do and wash ur ears with God words..also, wen u r undergoing a change in ur walk with God (say a deeper level of intimacy with God or a diff season) he will be supportive n protect u, even wen the season is nt easy..he do nt need to say anything but rather hold ur hand n just let his presence hear by u, or pray and cry with u.. a hand dat catch u wen u fall...thr is more..but it is enough for nw...
i was asked one question before, ppl always change, one day, will u wake up n find dat ur love towards the person change especially as u grow older... i just realized one thing, if it is God ordained love, the perfect love will withhold both of them n best of all, God will work with both of them on a level whr one change, one will change to understand wat is going on..it is important dat both of them seek God, therefore able to communicate as they are tie by God together, the changes (eg, diff seasons) will be dealt at a understanding heart-for God will reveal to the another person what u r going through, if both of u r close to each other hearts, put each other in prayer, God for sure will reveal or help u to interceed for each other..God will also allow both of u to go through same spiritual growth as both of u seek HIM together, allowing the understanding of hearts happen... then, the love will not die but grow as the two are able to communicate in the truth of love n have the same spiritual maturity as they seek HIM together.
p.s. yes, i have high expectation for the 'hero' becoz my Father in heaven says i m worth it, same goes with all gals...i noe dat sometime i act strong and thr is no need for a hero..but looks can be deceiving haha..so i still need guys to help me to carry things lol, and lesson number one, wen a gal say no, it means yes, i noe its confusing guys, but too bad..it just gurls haha...they are shy wahahahahah
Friday, November 16, 2007
thoughts.....
just a random post...wahaha.. after finishing my semester n finally tasting freedom ..wohoo..abit not use to b free..haha...but of course it is gud to rest
so ya..the thoughts that are lingering are once again, i find it true that things or ppl come to u when u least think about it...God love to suprise u wen u are nt aware..dats the elements of suprise.. not just with God..even facebooks haha..wen i want ppl to let say send me a drink on the top firends, i try so hard n send it to them haha...but wen i lazy d, i dun care d..all of sudden the drinks flooded in..hmmm..quite a thoughts haha
anyway...i was reading lotsa novel n books nwadays..haha..become bookworm n loving it..i just so happen to read stuff dat i wrote about my journey with God, my dear Father..was really touching n faith just come in..realizing all that i have been through with HIM..hw much His love is for me...I noe I m imperfect but I have the perfect love...
lotsa thoughts are lingering in my head nwadays, especially wen i m quiet...so wen u c my blank n blur face...u noe la..haha...and no, i m not becoming emo... i m simply recollecting thoughts n in needs to use my brains, as God given me lol.. i wasted years not thinking as a notion of my personality n try to change nw.. to b a person dat will use her mind...most importantly, thoughts does come from God and of course urself n the loser devil too.. so yea, thrfore thoughts play a blig role...it crucial u reflect wat come to ur mind or heart, give God the captives of ur thoughts...
so ya..the thoughts that are lingering are once again, i find it true that things or ppl come to u when u least think about it...God love to suprise u wen u are nt aware..dats the elements of suprise.. not just with God..even facebooks haha..wen i want ppl to let say send me a drink on the top firends, i try so hard n send it to them haha...but wen i lazy d, i dun care d..all of sudden the drinks flooded in..hmmm..quite a thoughts haha
anyway...i was reading lotsa novel n books nwadays..haha..become bookworm n loving it..i just so happen to read stuff dat i wrote about my journey with God, my dear Father..was really touching n faith just come in..realizing all that i have been through with HIM..hw much His love is for me...I noe I m imperfect but I have the perfect love...
lotsa thoughts are lingering in my head nwadays, especially wen i m quiet...so wen u c my blank n blur face...u noe la..haha...and no, i m not becoming emo... i m simply recollecting thoughts n in needs to use my brains, as God given me lol.. i wasted years not thinking as a notion of my personality n try to change nw.. to b a person dat will use her mind...most importantly, thoughts does come from God and of course urself n the loser devil too.. so yea, thrfore thoughts play a blig role...it crucial u reflect wat come to ur mind or heart, give God the captives of ur thoughts...
Monday, November 05, 2007
time flies....whoosh
yeap...time really fly..faster than an airplane sometimes...without me realizing..i m turning 20 years old this year...and well, i feel old haha...believe me...but one thing, never in any year I look forward for the years to past and to let God unleashed His perfect plan in my life... Its the third year of me in the journey with God, and only one word I can utter, Wow.. and then start starring at the sky and become emo..lol..it just so many thoughts will come to me when I reflect this 3 year journey, and it have been amazing, with joy and tears of course.
Gratitude linger my thoughts, realizing how much i live on other people helps, support and fellowship..at times, how I wish I could be the one that offer helps and support...ah, the desire to grow up and capable come to me again, but this time, taken care by HIM..what can I say beside silently thanking them and trying to show enough gratitude to ppl who have stick by me all this time...my church who just came into the picture of my life have been supporting me like a family and how grateful am I for it.. the Bread (words of God), Water (Spirit) and fellwoship provided by the church has truly been a blessing...
sadly, people come, people leave..memories is the one stay forever...I learn to accept this and cherish the connection while I can...sry la..if u guys think my birthday thoughts are sad and serious, just as anna commended...haha..another gal which I cherish alot and leaving to overseas...yeap, the pain of loss will come soon after she leave, just like the time mun yee leave.. no, I am not starting to become a sad person even as I start to be aware that the world is a place of hurts but then I will look up n smile, for thr is a FORCE bigger than the hurts...i m also suprise by the FORCE, the way HE heal me in issue I never thought exist...the joy which is the strength from HIM...
as times alwiz allow changes to happen..i am starting to miss gud time that i have with ppl n begin to form memories, a sign of growing old as only ppl with handful of memory can do dat...honestly, i miss the time when me, aaron n dan is on holidays, coz we practically hang out the whole day bfore prayer meet n all... now, we r bz with our degree n all..rarely have time for us to hang out n talk (sometimes serious stuff like God, CF, ppl n life, sometimes just crap like games, anime n jokes, lol..fine, its not crap but guys talk)..the two fella is 2 bro in Christ dat i wouldnt trade with anything...i thx God for the friendship form between us, who say gurl n guy cannot have pure friendship? i m close to them, thx to CF, maybe thats keep us together as frens...another precious memory is the bedroom talk n time in anna house... I put the memory close to my heart, a time of bounding with girl..another deep desire of mine, which is to have a God given sisterhood..I at time also vividly remember the time spend with mun yee and joram...a time which will alwiz be a part of me no matter how long. I praise God that HE connect me with this sis in Christ, mun yee and knowing that we will stick together in life, for we have been through tears n joy together..haha, i can't forget the time when we cry together n even fight against each other, yet we made it up with God help...the memory is so fresh, like a still hot just printed paper by photocopy machine.. For joram loo, i thx u for teaching me n believing in me....
Realizing alot of things and continuing to do so..as my Prince continue to pour into my cup...I will drink and drink till I m full...more to come....till next time....
Gratitude linger my thoughts, realizing how much i live on other people helps, support and fellowship..at times, how I wish I could be the one that offer helps and support...ah, the desire to grow up and capable come to me again, but this time, taken care by HIM..what can I say beside silently thanking them and trying to show enough gratitude to ppl who have stick by me all this time...my church who just came into the picture of my life have been supporting me like a family and how grateful am I for it.. the Bread (words of God), Water (Spirit) and fellwoship provided by the church has truly been a blessing...
sadly, people come, people leave..memories is the one stay forever...I learn to accept this and cherish the connection while I can...sry la..if u guys think my birthday thoughts are sad and serious, just as anna commended...haha..another gal which I cherish alot and leaving to overseas...yeap, the pain of loss will come soon after she leave, just like the time mun yee leave.. no, I am not starting to become a sad person even as I start to be aware that the world is a place of hurts but then I will look up n smile, for thr is a FORCE bigger than the hurts...i m also suprise by the FORCE, the way HE heal me in issue I never thought exist...the joy which is the strength from HIM...
as times alwiz allow changes to happen..i am starting to miss gud time that i have with ppl n begin to form memories, a sign of growing old as only ppl with handful of memory can do dat...honestly, i miss the time when me, aaron n dan is on holidays, coz we practically hang out the whole day bfore prayer meet n all... now, we r bz with our degree n all..rarely have time for us to hang out n talk (sometimes serious stuff like God, CF, ppl n life, sometimes just crap like games, anime n jokes, lol..fine, its not crap but guys talk)..the two fella is 2 bro in Christ dat i wouldnt trade with anything...i thx God for the friendship form between us, who say gurl n guy cannot have pure friendship? i m close to them, thx to CF, maybe thats keep us together as frens...another precious memory is the bedroom talk n time in anna house... I put the memory close to my heart, a time of bounding with girl..another deep desire of mine, which is to have a God given sisterhood..I at time also vividly remember the time spend with mun yee and joram...a time which will alwiz be a part of me no matter how long. I praise God that HE connect me with this sis in Christ, mun yee and knowing that we will stick together in life, for we have been through tears n joy together..haha, i can't forget the time when we cry together n even fight against each other, yet we made it up with God help...the memory is so fresh, like a still hot just printed paper by photocopy machine.. For joram loo, i thx u for teaching me n believing in me....
Realizing alot of things and continuing to do so..as my Prince continue to pour into my cup...I will drink and drink till I m full...more to come....till next time....
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
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