mr bean!!! hahaha!

) BRAIN TUMOR:Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!


2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9 Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!


3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!


4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!


5) Marriage:Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.


6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.


7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!


8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.


9) Spelling lesson:Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure

guilty or not

Yesterday i was rushing to church for URM duty. I beat the traffic lightbecause i needto rush to reach by 5pm. I realise thru my rear mirror that a police car wastailing me frombehind. I know i was in trouble. I drive slowly to see if he will wave me tothe side of theroad. True enough he did. He walked up to me and asked for my ic & drivinglicense. I told him i was rushing to church because i am already late. Hethen looked at the bible beside me. Straight away i said, " I know why youstop me. Give me a summon because i know i am wrong."The policeman ask, "Mengapa mau saman?" I said, " Because I am wrong. Idrive thru the red light."He said, "Tiada saman. I am only concern about your safety. You can go now."I was so touch by this young, handsome, malay policeman.This has reminded me that we need to be quick to tell God we are guilty ifwe are in the wrong.A lot of people (not URM definately) has forgotten how merciful our God canbe if we are willing to come to the Father!God Bless all of you.

daddy's empty chair

A man's daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father.When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows.An empty chair sat at his bedside.
The minister assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit."I guess you were expecting me, he said.'No, who are you?" said the father.The minister told him his name and then remarked,I saw the empty chair and I figured you knew I was going to show up,""Oh yeah, the chair,"said the bedridden man."Would you mind closing the door?" Puzzled, the minister shut the door."I have never told anyone this,not even my daughter," said the man."But all of my life I have never known how to pray.At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer,but it went right over my head."I abandoned any attempt at prayer,"the old man continued," until one day four years ago, my best friend said to me,"Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus.Here is what I suggest." Sit down in a chair;place an empty chair in front of you,and in faith see Jesus on the chair.It's not spooky
because he promised,I will be with you always'."Then just speak to him in the same way you're doing with me right now.""So, I tried it and I've liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day.I'm careful though If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair,she'd either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm."The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old man to continue on the journey.Then he prayed with him, anointed him with oil,and returned to the church. Two nights la ter the daughter called to tell the minister that her daddy had died that afternoon.
Did he die in peace?" he asked. Yes, when I left the house about two o'clock,he called me over to his bedside,
told me he loved me and kissed me on the cheek.When I got back from the store an hour later,I found him dead.
But there was something strange about his death. Apparently, just before Daddy died,he leaned over and rested his head on the chair beside the bed. What do you make of that?"The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said,"I wish we could all go like that."
Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive.
I asked God for water,
He gave me an ocean.
I asked God for a flower,
He gave me a garden.
I asked God for a friend,
He gave me all of YOU...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

my holidays!!

yipeee, one week of holiday! so cool! well.my family, grannny n uncle family is going to malaca tis fri... before fri, my family especially mum n me did all the things we need to do before the vacation. i help my dad to type his invoice beside helping mum n reading novel... hehe, sound like alot to do eh, but i spend most of my time reading novel! lol! anyway, the trip to malaca is fun n fattening coz we eat alot there! lol~.~ not forgeting dat i have chance to play squash n golf at the resort we stay! its so fabulous! one thing made me most happy of the trip is my parent thx me for take care of my granny... it means dat they trust me more n noe dat i m more responsible coz before tis i m quite dependent n my parent never really trust me to take care of myself therefore they dun really allow me to go out...now i realized i need to show my parent dat i m trying to b ready for my future especially while i m working. the coversation wit my frens bout how to gain more trust from my parent guide me to solve the problem i alwiz have which is not trusted by my parent... mayb i m a problem creater at home to my parent! lol! i dun bother to show them dat i can take care of myself n be more responsible, the lazy devil alwiz made me like tis,hehe! btw, now i m trying to b more resposible such as helping dad while mum is at Kedah studying...i noticed dat everyday life is a learning process to me, i gain alot of understanding n experiences through daily life. i m sure u guys r going through it also...one thing,growing up is not the same as growing old! hehe! u must try to grow up spritually such as b more responsible but it is not the same as making urself boring! u can b mature n also have fun! why not? there is time for serious n also fun,rite? some stuff like God,family, frens,assignment,relationship,the way u potray ur image to ppl n ur view toward life are wat i consider serious stuff. Maturity also means viewing stuff in a bigger view n chill out on small stuff...sumtimes we tend to get angry by small little stuff dat we can actually laugh at it,rite? come on, life is too short to b so serious or angry bout, i m also learning to laugh at small stuff! sumtimes, ppl tease u bout ur look or ur cloths n u get angry by the comment but isnt it great if we can joke on our weakness n tell ppl dat it is all by God grace n they are laughing at God creation or u can ask them "do u thing it is rite to make fun of God as i m moulded by His own hand?" things become better wen u c it in a positive way....ur life may be sucks n u r blaming it on everyone but instead of blaming why not make it better by working hard, i m sure ur life will change eventually. sumtimes, ppl who live in a poor conditions tend to b more sucessful coz they really work hard to have a better life. God have alot to offer us, it whether we want to grab the chance anot...