yup, my 21st birthday is coming soon in 2 days.. n i adi receive some presents.. thanks ppl! the rest of the presents i adi noe the content, yes, i do noe..haha.. and some human complain i will have alot celebration lol.. they r just jealous dat i m loved by lots, thr u go hahaha (smilling with pride).. (this is for chaco and dan sim) anyway, u noe wat, the greatest gifts i will get is mun yee coming bck soon d and michelle goh may go bali with my family and i may go phuket with her and her family.. and i missed anna .. the sleeping partner who go through shops and search for my present and wishing me so early in her blog.. and the 'best' part is, she won't b coming bck in christmas..
fiy, and my life is very interesting recently.. i can't begin to describe how interesting it can be..
warning, contains emo writing that may be hazardous to health.. read it if u don't mind. be careful
let me get this straight, i am afraid to get to 21st.. thinking about it make me emo.. i just wan to run away on my birthday to somewhr.. the question in my mind, is hw much have i accomplish? all my dreams and hope, did i take the risk to accomplish anything? when will i finally drive properly like an adult? am i matured or fit to be 21? i said i vow not to regret anything that happened because i learn from it.. so, did i ponder and learn enuff? i have so many dreams and hope, when will the time come for them to come true? of course i am glad to know that my identity is not based on my dreams and hope.. most importantly, do i know God enuff? this term or year, is very interesting, God have surfaced so many of my issue, and nw i am asking, wat is next? is thr more healing or am i suppose to wait on HIM? i guess both, and hw? esp when listening to beth moore, believing God, it challenge me so much.. it convict me last sun .. what do i fear most? even as praying, my eyes are red, that i used to belive that i am uncapable, failure.. and lonely... mayb nw i still hold dat lies.. dats y i wanna run away on my birthday and just go to beach or travel (i wan to travel but thr is no chance yet, alwiz think i can't take care of myself and of course finance) .. so many times, i try to prove myself to be trustworthy and respectable, but failed to fullfill by it.. and den, as bth moore say, the enemy confirm u by saying, c, u r not worthy and nt capable, u have failed.. btw, as PS. Serena encourage us, it just stirred me again, dat we must find around 3 days alone with God.. jason mae did it and finished the bible.. nw i m praying for a time with HIM..
p.s opps, this is a really emo post.. told u its hazardous and b careful lol..
and i found out, mich and chaco also ask the same question i do..lol.. guess we all are bund to the same social expectation and structure.. honestly, i hate it
clinging on to the HOPE that bring life to my heart again and again
