jus jokes

Q: Can you use green, pink, and yellow in a sentence?
A: When the phone goes green green, I pink it up, and say yellow!

Q: Why do elephants never forget?
A: Because nobody tells them anything in the first place!

Q: What did the mama broom say to the baby broom?
A: It's time to go to sweep!

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side!

Q: What's black and white and very noisy?
A: A magpie with a drum set!

Q: What is the richest kind of air?
A: Million-air!

Q: What goes 99 clunk, 99 clunk, 99 clunk?
A: A centipede with a wooden leg!

Q: What's the problem with twin witches?
A: You can never tell which witch is which!

Q: What do you get when you cross a camera and a crocodile?
A: A snapshot!

Q: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lily!

Q: Who always forgets where she puts things?
A: Miss Place.

Q: Why do cows use telephones?
A: Because they like to comMOOnicate

Q: What kind of bus crossed the ocean?
A: Christopher ColumBUS!

Q: What kind of guitar do whales play?
A: The eel-ectric guitar!

Q: What's the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the
A: Rabbit Hood.

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the Chinese restaurant?
A: To get some spare ribs!

Q: What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
A: Deviled eggs!

Q: How do you make a milk shake?
A: Scare it!

Q: What pants do flowers wear?
A: Petal pushers!

Q: What's a tree's favorite drink?
A: Root beer!

Q: What do pigs get when they're ill?
A: Oinkment!

Q: What's the best thing to put into a pie?
A: Your teeth!

Q: Why do skeletons not play music in the church?
A: Because they have no organs!

Q: What's green, round, and goes camping?
A: A boy sprout!

Q: When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary!

Q: Where does the Easter bunny get his breakfast?
A: IHOP!

Q: Why do mummies like Christmas presents?
A: Because they're wrapped!

Q: Why did the boy throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butter-fly!

Q: Why did the celery turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q: How do you get straight A's?
A: By using a ruler!

Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!

Q: What is a snake's favorite subject?
A: Hissstory!

Q: How many knees do you have?
A: 4. Your right knee, your left knee, and your 2 kid-knees!

Q: What do you get if you cross a snake with a pie?
A: A pie-thon!

Q: What do you call a train loaded with taffy?
A: A chew chew train!

thx sumitha coz sending me these jokes!u r so sweet!soli for troubling u!it is so funny!luv u, muakss,hugz!

Meaningful story...read it!

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you." Epilogue: "There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations" "Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled" "If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy" "Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

advice....dun turn turn ar!read!lolx

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel like there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living person you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too strong for fear, and to happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Isnt the written material above worthile to b think by us? it is wat we should follow...i personally would say dat!suit urself! =p enjoy reading...