Tuesday, May 06, 2008

y post

cell group for cf starting tomolo.. oh boy, can't wait to know the members.. oh n guess wat, jason want to do alumni for cf.. he wan the history of cf.. history to b dig out should i say? lol.. like the artifact hidden bury down for thousands years waiting to be found.. interesting, all the ex commitees and all, u bet..

at tis moment, i am asking alot of why.. y God even bother to send Jesus for ppl like me (ppl like me, most of the time who doesnt noe hw to handle HIS love, who is stirred by small little matter), y i am xiying (i noe its lame), y can't i be more loving towards my studies n classses, y can't i love God more, y can't i hunger more, y i am asking so many y .. i guess all this y is dat nw my heart is just needing HIS guidance, teaching, n God wan us to be teachable, i hope my questions enable God to lead me a step deeper about HIM, even with the simple questions.. another thing is i m human who is given emotion bt seem to have too much of it..lol..literally.. bt emotion is given by God (its part of HIM) n its beautiful non the less, just sadly the fall of mankind unfortunately have corrupted it.. hmm, y do we feel? y do our heart feel the desire, needs, joy, love, pain, anger, lost and etc? guess HE do too... bt in a more 'matured,higher and sacred' version den us, n bcoz we r in HIS image, we can only pray dat like Father like children..for nw as my Father daugther, i m asking HIM to take care of my desire, and needs that have being stirred up for nw.. i see a road in front of me, long and endless.. n i say great, now i will walk on till dunno wen n with no direction.. i try to walk n i tripped, duh, with the intense darkness..n tears drop roll down on my cheek..bt God say, wait a minute, tis isnt life mend to be, with a snap of finger (imagine the sound in ur brain lol), the road is lighten, blinding me actually, n a big comfortable hand on me, n i see the signs post n all indicating whr i should go, then, God say, thr u go, tis is better.. its suppose to be dat way..i wipe my face, i rise n walk.. bracing forward.. well, i can guarantee i will tripped again, definately..i am professional in falling down on stairs n bus n etc..bt i believe in the big hand..