retail retail

i am not sure when it dawn to me (especially most ladies) that the world notices you when you start beautify your appearance.

Then you start to put more and more emphasis on your looks instead of characters as you realize this is how you gain attention or praise
(to be fair, who doesnt like to be seen as beautiful).
Sadly, sooner or later, you will find that it feels meaningless and empty.
you will just be obssessed with finding new ways to be more desirable on appearances
(buying more make ups and clothes for example) and you wont feel contempted with what you owns.      

it is not wrong to beautify yourself or playing dress up, but be careful to not let it control you

i admit i am always tempted to buy and buy in order to feel beautiful and satisfied.
it feels hollow or guilty instead of joy. Frustration follows
     
the problem is eventhough i promised not to buy again, because i rely on my own strength, the promise easily broken.
i will still walk in to shops and have thousands of excuses
(for eg the feeling of how much i like the dress is stronger than promise) to buy
or i will suddenly crave or 'need' for certain stuffs and followed by ravanderous search for it.
This often lead to furstration (in the process of finding) or ignoring ppl in order to buy the stuffs.      

Only Lord can mend this issue as HE gently remind me of what is my priorities and that I am made beautiful in HIM  

Retail therapy may not be sinful and even harmless but it will affect your relationship with God and finance.
It is like a little subtle way of robbing your focus on God.
Ask this, whenever you are upset or feels not good, instead of turning to God, you choose retail therapy, do you think it shows lack of trust to Him?
just like in a relationship, you choose to rely on other ppl or sources instead of confiding to each other.  
Same goes to other harmless little habits, such as overeating or forcing yourself to vommit or turning to movies for emotional release instead of God.  
I am also still in the process of putting God first and this requires denying myself.
I have to ask God to give me the courage to die to myself so that HE can live stronger in me.
I am not perfect, so i am still walking this journey, i may sometimes lose to my own sinful nature and temptation.
Temper may flared and so on, but i am at least assured that i can go back
(willingness and awareness of the need to repent)to God and seek help                


PS i still like to be beautiful and shop but after i wrote this as my reminder, it is getting better. =)