How to know the one you married is God given?

So, how do you know your partner is God given? By counting both of your birth dates, pray at temples or check astronomy if you are non christian? if you are christian, how do you know you listen correctly to what God say about your partner?  

One of the marriage counselor/ pastor say that it is up to you to count your birth dates or any other methods. But it is dangerous, if the result of counting is bad, then when your marriage have problem, u will just use that as an excuse to communicate and also change yourself. You wont want to grow and learn in the marriage, you keep remembering the result and blame it. You will also keep spending money but wont sit down and look at the real problem.  

Furthermore, he mention this belief especially common for chinese, which is to think that we owe each other from last life, that’s why we are paying back this life. This belief applies to their children as well as spouses. With this mentality, it is not helpful for relationship, you will just settle like that and won’t work on it further.  This will affect the way you look at your family, it will be different if u look at your children like the bible mentioned, a  blessing instead of a form of owing from last life.

The host asked about what the pastor thinks of divorce if the marriage really face problem. The pastor the answer by making an illustration, for those who have children, your children is always yours, neither you nor your children have a choice about it, you are always related. It is the same with marriage and only by looking at it this way you are willing to work on it. There is no need to be too particular on sign from God, its good to have but more importantly is, once u choose, there is no such thing as wrong bone (Adam and Eve), it’s yours already. Divorce is a choice, but it is a form of running away instead of courageously working on it. Even if you divorce, its no point, your next marriage will have the same problem as you still bring the baggage along.   

The pastor wife also pointed out that couple should do a pre marriage guide. it is a realistic way to point out expectation on marriage from both and the differences of both. With the guide, couples are able to discuss issues about finance, life after marriage and others issue related. This will further help them to understand each other in marriage and work on it.