The beauty path

All this time, i admit that i did not let people truly know me yet i crave to formed a deep meaningful relationship .i am also stuck in past friendship.i also doubt myself alot and only finding worth in what i do instead of who i am. i am not satisfied for the current state i am in, lost in finding motivation or passion in lifei am easily affected by things as well, having being vulnerable yet going by my own strength. 
One thing is, amazing things happened when you trust God and be still. when you realized it is ok to be vulnerable and let God dwell in your heart by making a commitment to be reminded to live in HIS victory. Let HIS joy be your strength and not let circumstances dictate your mind.. Father, may you plant Your dream and will into my heart. May i bring Your beauty (not my vainess) to the world. Guide me so that i don't continue to blur the line between enjoying dressing up yet with substance and plain self love.I pray that i will continue to enjoy YOUR presence. 


Blessed are You oh Lord!  Psalm 139:14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)


One thing, have you felt:

Not enough? 
too much ?
not pretty enough? 
too much make up?
not secure?
 too vain?
 or that beauty is dangerous?
not good enough in things/intimidated ?
or strive too hard in order to feel beautiful?

I have watched and subscribed to numerous beauty gurus.followed tons of beauty blogs.
I have also used instagram and took lotsa pics,spending hours to dressed up and make up,used pose application, followed beauty group,tried hard to do whatever it takes to feel beautiful. 
Oh dear, what else more with the endless effort to cling on 'beauty'?   
What am i filling myself with? 

Somehow watching youtube on beauty related topic throw me down to a time where i feel intimidated or worst repulsed by my physical appearance. Most of the time, i find myself either overwhelmed/jealous with the beauty of the ladies and all the regimen they follow. Somehow i came to a point to mentally agreeing that without make up i am ugly. Recently, somehow when the night came upon, i can't stop thinking about why would anyone like or love a person like me. from the way i look to everything else about me.  

Lord have mercy on me! By God grace, He slowly pick me up from where i fall. He still is
Praise God
The journey goes on

Made to be Beautiful

I am constantly reminded by the many lies we actually believed and get drowned in especially on self perception  


If there is one thing i am passionate about is to not just convince myself to believe that God have created me to be beautiful (regardless of how i look, take joy in God beauty and be comfortable about who i am,) but ultimately to spread out this message that all are created beautifully in God image.. 


Part of the reason to do clothes business is also to bring upon beauty to other girls and see where God leads me in this ministry ..            
May God victory flow towards HIS princesses especially in this world full of conflicting views on what are considered to be beautiful, leaving most girls suffered from low self esteem, depression and more. It could also consist of striving to achieve the flawless standards of beauty and an obsession to fix yourselves with make up or enduring surgery.  


ps. i pray that one day the struggle to believe in the beauty that God have bestowed upon me will lessen, and i won't always have battle about my appearance.  =)

working = passion?

I hope that by the time i am suppose to work i am able to find out in depth about what Lord have in plan for me .. that i will be able to pursue passion in life with Gods' will and guidance.

Just wanna do a work that i will at least be enthusiastic and passionate in =)

well, we will see where this will lead eventhough i am kinda worried   

retail retail

i am not sure when it dawn to me (especially most ladies) that the world notices you when you start beautify your appearance.

Then you start to put more and more emphasis on your looks instead of characters as you realize this is how you gain attention or praise
(to be fair, who doesnt like to be seen as beautiful).
Sadly, sooner or later, you will find that it feels meaningless and empty.
you will just be obssessed with finding new ways to be more desirable on appearances
(buying more make ups and clothes for example) and you wont feel contempted with what you owns.      

it is not wrong to beautify yourself or playing dress up, but be careful to not let it control you

i admit i am always tempted to buy and buy in order to feel beautiful and satisfied.
it feels hollow or guilty instead of joy. Frustration follows
     
the problem is eventhough i promised not to buy again, because i rely on my own strength, the promise easily broken.
i will still walk in to shops and have thousands of excuses
(for eg the feeling of how much i like the dress is stronger than promise) to buy
or i will suddenly crave or 'need' for certain stuffs and followed by ravanderous search for it.
This often lead to furstration (in the process of finding) or ignoring ppl in order to buy the stuffs.      

Only Lord can mend this issue as HE gently remind me of what is my priorities and that I am made beautiful in HIM  

Retail therapy may not be sinful and even harmless but it will affect your relationship with God and finance.
It is like a little subtle way of robbing your focus on God.
Ask this, whenever you are upset or feels not good, instead of turning to God, you choose retail therapy, do you think it shows lack of trust to Him?
just like in a relationship, you choose to rely on other ppl or sources instead of confiding to each other.  
Same goes to other harmless little habits, such as overeating or forcing yourself to vommit or turning to movies for emotional release instead of God.  
I am also still in the process of putting God first and this requires denying myself.
I have to ask God to give me the courage to die to myself so that HE can live stronger in me.
I am not perfect, so i am still walking this journey, i may sometimes lose to my own sinful nature and temptation.
Temper may flared and so on, but i am at least assured that i can go back
(willingness and awareness of the need to repent)to God and seek help                


PS i still like to be beautiful and shop but after i wrote this as my reminder, it is getting better. =)

If only

O Father, if only love is so easily accessible
If only joy and peace are freely available like the air we breathe

if only life are more simple
if only there is manual available for life or mentor available 24/7
If only the craving, feelings and issues will not be so strong at the middle of night  
If only i were showed how to do things properly  
if only my heart will not be so easily intimidated and crushed
if only life weren't so tangled up with sins ..

If only i can easily trust in YOU to be there 24/7
If only i could die to myself and be alive in YOU
If only i know more about Your faithfulness and Love

Teach me beautiful Father at this time      

soul surfer

http://www.the33tv.com/news/kdaf-soul-surfer-story,0,4376018.story


Bethany hamiliton

She and nick vujici make me realize again that physical disability is not as scary as a heart that is filled with words such as you can't do it ..


Be inspired and rise up

=)

I pray that from today onward i will be reminded to continuously surrender to God all the things i intended to put my hand upon.

I will live in a victorious mindset

I will not be bothered with the amount of people that is blessed by my blog for its God business. God gave me the nudging to write on this blog,so HE will take control of this blog.
 

Life can't be any better than this! Nick

will really try to translate to english! =)
Inspiring

End of year two

Today it is officially end of my year two .. time flies!

in about two months time, i will be a year three student..

I praise God for this period of time..

yes,today was ended with downpour of rain and thunder in the evening, perhaps telling us YOU are all powerful and is performing cleansing to Malaysia..

I am considering some part time jobs too..any suggestion?

For my classmates, have a good holidays!

For the Muslims, have a good time in celebrating     


Lastly,come visit taylors for bazaars! http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=130030510423715

How to know the one you married is God given?

So, how do you know your partner is God given? By counting both of your birth dates, pray at temples or check astronomy if you are non christian? if you are christian, how do you know you listen correctly to what God say about your partner?  

One of the marriage counselor/ pastor say that it is up to you to count your birth dates or any other methods. But it is dangerous, if the result of counting is bad, then when your marriage have problem, u will just use that as an excuse to communicate and also change yourself. You wont want to grow and learn in the marriage, you keep remembering the result and blame it. You will also keep spending money but wont sit down and look at the real problem.  

Furthermore, he mention this belief especially common for chinese, which is to think that we owe each other from last life, that’s why we are paying back this life. This belief applies to their children as well as spouses. With this mentality, it is not helpful for relationship, you will just settle like that and won’t work on it further.  This will affect the way you look at your family, it will be different if u look at your children like the bible mentioned, a  blessing instead of a form of owing from last life.

The host asked about what the pastor thinks of divorce if the marriage really face problem. The pastor the answer by making an illustration, for those who have children, your children is always yours, neither you nor your children have a choice about it, you are always related. It is the same with marriage and only by looking at it this way you are willing to work on it. There is no need to be too particular on sign from God, its good to have but more importantly is, once u choose, there is no such thing as wrong bone (Adam and Eve), it’s yours already. Divorce is a choice, but it is a form of running away instead of courageously working on it. Even if you divorce, its no point, your next marriage will have the same problem as you still bring the baggage along.   

The pastor wife also pointed out that couple should do a pre marriage guide. it is a realistic way to point out expectation on marriage from both and the differences of both. With the guide, couples are able to discuss issues about finance, life after marriage and others issue related. This will further help them to understand each other in marriage and work on it.     

Good TV channel

Been really inspired by this particular channel and their talk show topics.. hope you all will check it out and watch it.. i hereby trying to write out some main points from two talk show topics from this channel.. hopefully i will keep up the consistency of translating the talk show (especially the main points and important wisdom) so that more people can understand it as it is in chinese..

FIY, its a talk show hosted by a married couple, check out the FB link for more details =)

http://www.facebook.com/happinesscoming?sk=info

Topic is about how nowadays young ppl look at sex love and marriage. The discussion here involved on the effectiveness on sex education in school plus sex information (including porn) availability in society today and the consequences. There are other discussion including the effects of sex before marriage, parents role on educating children about sex and can sex be 

separated with love. 

They invited two expert and four UNI students as guests to discuss about this topic.

Some of the good insight from the lady expert will be  :

• one, the only fuction of sex on a biology side is only one, to give life, it is to create life in a loving relationship. So in looking at young ppl and sex,she will lead them to base on physical and heart maturity (most of the time your physical matured first before your heart, you have to let both gain same level then only you are ready for the responsibility of sex)
• 
  
  Since she is familiar with how children function, 
  • lead them to monitor their parent relationship (how intimate are they and how they solve conflicts),so when they grow up, they will envision how they want their future family to be, what environment they want their children to live in. With this long term thinking build, they will keep themselves pure so that they will be able to let their children grow up in a clean, loving and committed family. Children are affected by family environment and sowing the seeds of right and long term thinking start young (especially when it will bring impact to their future life). With this long term thinking, when the children reach puberty, they will then have good judgement even when material such as porn came, they can handle it correctly. You cant stop all d materials
    • but let them be educated to have a clear idea about what sex leads to.

If your kids have good judgement ability, then they can conquer their own behavior or feelings. She say this concept she also teaches her own daughter when she is 12 years old. One day the grandpa came to visit and went to fetch her, he is happy to fetch the granddaughter and want to hold her hand, but she is embarrassed in front of friends.

• When the mum (lady expert) heard from her dad  about it, she have a talk wit her daughter at night. She started saying that she understand her daughter embarrassment, and she added that  wen the daughter grow older, if the parent go n hold her hand she will also be embarrassed. But grandpa just came for visit and very happy to fetch her, so if she can understand grandpa feeling and conquer the embarrassed feeling, you are a winner. She added that its the same to apply with sex, when you see people or friends watching porn or simply having sex, its fun and popular, but if u can conquer the need to be the same with others, u are a conqueror.
  
  
  • She reminded that don't think its so easy to separate love and sex. For example in cohabitation or premarital sex, once you have sex,its hard to break it off, the entanglement is done. this is because when you have sex, there are certain feelings involved but no promise, most of the time will cost hurts. 
    • 
      

      
      

      Parents must be able to talk to kids about sex, if not children will be misguided by other information. She further shared that this parent
      

      • found son having porn magazines inn drawer. The mum was shocked and asked her what to do. She ask the mum to put the magazines back. She say kids at times feel weird to talk to parent about it. Its also wrong to invade the children privacy. So trust must be build by since young, by talking about sex issue with kids
      • so they will build immunity on it and able to talk to you about it. 
        
        
        • She continue to say that her own daughter is also  of puberty age. She will tell her saving sex for marriage is to protect your body and future. If  sex without commitment, you might lost the chance to pick a good mate and gain a long lasting relationship. With this way, kids will be able to think what is best for future. By just threatening, kids will not really understand and if they witness other people do it but nothing happen to them like what the parent may threaten, they will just do it. 
          
          
          She shared that this author saw his mum have sex with neighbor when he walk back from school last time. Even after 40 plus years,he still remember and when he write some poem, its haunting him
          • She say at that time, his mum never know this will happen, never consider that her son may witness. If u think of giving ur children a good family, you and your spouse will have this relationship of intimacy, sex and love. she say the height of in love feelings may fade, but the feelings of going through life together will be stronger. For all this to happen, you wont just think of fun at the moment. Young people often think that sex is fun and their right. 
            
            
             if you have light at your eyes, darkness will not blind u so easily.    
          
          
  
  
  Insight from the man expert in show :
  • 
    
    He shared that teacher sometimes also nt well educated about sex topics. They weren't educated much last time about it and in d teaching manual not much are provided. Teachers can't really discuss from own experience. The culture here are more conservative.
    
    
    • He also shared dat teenager esp r still young inside despite their body
    • den say, they ought to consider r they able to take the responsibility after sex, like driving too. He receive tis letter before he suppose to present a speech from this uni girl who need help. She naive and was from a village before she went to study. She met a boyfriend and he is working at 7-11, everytime work untill 11pm and then buy supper and go to her room. He always ask her for sex. Earlier, the uni girl mum told her only to have sex after marrying, and she agree too. But its  hard for her to say no for so many times, so she gave in to her boyfriend. In half a year, she went to abortion for two times.
      
      
      • The host of show then added that its  about respect, that the boyfriend should practice respect to the girlfriend.
    
    
    • He continue sharing that he and his wife do keep educating d daughter about sex eventough she is still young. one day, his wife ask the daughter what kind of guy she want to marry next time, she answer like dad. He say he is proud and happy to hear that. When he go for talk, a lot or most youngster do not want to be like their parents. Now, the relationship is very messy, divorce hurts children. They see bad models and that commitment can be easily broken. It will in turn affects their whole life too. He and his wife try to model a healthy relationship to their children and it have to be in whole package. He can't say he love his wife but have sex with other lady, it will hurts his family if he do so. Sex is not just yourself so easy,it will bound others too. 
    
    
    
    
    Sharing from students in show
    
    
    They hope dat last time in secondary school d teacher can teach them properly about sex and guy girl relationship..and also combine love and sex
    
    
    • One Uni student shared that she did this assignment on family and sex. She conducted a survey, and found out that most people think that sex with condom then its alright and safe. But after much research, she found out that none of contraceptive work are safe enough to prevent from pregnancy and sex related disease. When she present to her UNI classmates, they were shocked to find out about that information. She hope that they can be educated more about it. When u know that contraceptive methods are not that safe, u will definitely think twice before you want to simply have sex. 
    

     

thoughts

I was just having this statement made by several authors of books, that people are bonded  by experiences in life and it is one of the foundation that help couple to stay together aside from God  ..
Let see how i can put it together.

For example,couple share life ups and downs together, they stay together through things as simple as enjoying meals and talking about things together for years. if by chance, both of you like to travel, then the experiences of travelling together will help you to stick together.
I understand the point that alot of time people simply grow out of love or face obstacles in their relationship despite having experiencing the love previously. Probably its the same case that even if you know God is good and have indeed shown you He is, you as a human still doubt especially when life is hard.

For me, as random as it is,to ponder about, wouldn't it be really hard to part with people if you have been sharing life for years. the thoughts of it bring such pain to me...            

Wasted Foods Issue

http://wildsingaporenews.blogspot.com/2010/05/food-waste-in-malaysia.html

I have the urge to write about this issue, after seeing yet another scene of foods wasted. In fact, it has become so common to us Malaysian.
I can only provide some solutions and hopefully it helps. There is no point for me to just voice my anger over this. i admit i cannot bear with it due to my upbringing but it is not right nor helpful to just put my anger on this.
I am not suppose to judge before i understand the whole situation if it is applicable.

Solutions
1. I strongly exhort parents to educate their children to understand their hunger and order what you need only. also, the concept of taking away your unfinished foods is wise and need to be cultivated.

2. While eating out, if you are unsure about the portion of your food, ask or request a smaller portion (ask also for discount if you request a small portion =p). Another way is to make your eating partner finish it for you or order a large portion and just share.    

3. Restaurants can also adopt this tactic to help this issue by giving customers choice of smaller portion at a lesser price if they are able to. It should be beneficial for both side..        

Days of Elijah

I am ashamed of myself in a lot of aspect

And due to this reason

I am very anxious about what the future holds for me.

I am also very doubtful about my own ability even before I want to start any thing

Hence the shame and uselessness keep mocking me..

But, Lord, take Your Kingship over me and let Your victory reign

Ice cream and family =)

I remembered the time when i saw this dad eating ice cream with his toddler daughter. He just smile and watch her eat without doing anything else, for example, fidgeting with his phone or staring with other places looking impatient. You know he really enjoy the time spend with his daughter.. A representation of God as Father..

oh, of course i enjoy spending time having ice cream with my parent. my family have a habit of storing ice cream to slowly indulge in it  =) Now thats the sweetness of life

love so sweet

I remembered the first time my heart ever felt the way before ,

it is just like spring, where flowers are blossoming

I feel so joyful and beautiful

something in me ring and feel so alive..

This is how i feel when i were praying and considering about going into a relationship with aaron tam, and God answered just TRUST ME for him.. which i believe have become the foundation of our relationship, our faith in God.

The feeling of spring or romance may be gone someday, but God is the ONE that is holding our commitment

I also remembered the first time i say yes to Jesus and the hunger / passion that consume me after my conversion. As naive or new as i am, I would do anything to serve HIM.

Along the road, i am fully aware that i may forget or lost the zeal of first love due to my own sinfulness, burdens in life and other factors. This is when God faithfulness comes in, reminding us to trust HIM no matter what. Because the truth is, alot of things in life is beyond our control and what better to do but to trust the ONE that knows (like a baby trusting the parent to provide) .

God Bless ya all !! =)

a story on VICTORY

Wide blue sea ahead of me…

It is suppose to be beautiful and refreshing,

As nature should be.

But all I know is that I am drowning…

And overwhelmed by the blueness …

As I am slowly eaten by the darkness of sea,

The feelings of suffocated and hollowness

became stronger as the time goes by.

Will I find the light again?

Will I gaze what is beautiful and alive to my soul ever?

Suddenly, there is a Voice whispering in the wind,

Saying, ‘’take heart and do not be discouraged!’’

My heart is thumping with a strange surge of power and warmth,

Thinking, could it be my Saviour who will finally rescue me from drowning ?

The gentle yet firm Voice continues on to say ,

‘’Live, for I came to give you Life eternally but you must first believe’’

I search for the Voice and then answered, ‘’Yes, I do believe!’’

At last, miracle and victory happened!

Books!

Recently i manage to get hold of a few books..

First collection is 3 books by Sheila walsh

God has a dream for you

and

Beautiful things happen when a women trust God

and Come As You Are: An Open Invitation From The Heart Of God

Second is 2 books by Dee Brestin and Kathy Trocolli

Falling in love with Jesus

The Colors of His Love

All the books are inspirational and honest with regards to our Christianity walk with our Father =) Enjoy

Verses

http://christianity.about.com/od/prayersverses/qt/inspirationalbv.htm Romans 8:38-39 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NLT) My personal favourite scripture!

Dreams

I believe everyone have dreams..

I believe that we have endless list of dreams

I believe alot of dreams are shattered along the way

and some were accomplished...

I believe we need to be reminded that God is higher than all our dreams and hope

I believe that in God timing and will, you will be empowered to fulfilled them,

I hope that our heart desire will not be buried as we go on what life bring us;

that we are able to be free and adventures in life and our walk with God

I truly believe that our heart always crave for more in life and there is this nudging that there got to be more life than this (for we are created so)

Yes, lets dream on and surrender it to God